Motherhood

When I think back to when we were planning to have our son I have come to realize that what you think will happen and what actually happens when you become a Mom are 2 completely different things.  I believe this to be because we as Moms don't talk about it.  We don't talk about the bad, we don't complain because if we complain then we're not good Moms because it's supposed to be love and lollipops and rainbows to be a Mom.  I am here to say it's ok to complain, telling your friends what to expect is a good thing and it's time we all open up and really truly prepare those for what is going to come so that their transition is easier.  I know if someone had told me the truth then I would have felt less Mommy guilt.  Becoming a Mom is the most amazing thing and you really can't imagine the love that happens for the baby that grew in your belly and is now reliant on you.  With the amazing comes a complete change in your life and the sooner you go with it and stop fighting then the happier you will be.  Your body looks completely different and it'll take a long time for it to even resemble what it used to be.  Embrace this as having a child is amazing and if you're happy then you'll start looking at yourself the way you used to.  Forget lavish holidays, going out whenever you want, not smelling like puke all the time and now you actually have to save for those concert tickets and the babysitter to watch the little one.  All these things take planning now as just to get out of the house with a baby is a job in itself.  Lack of sleep will make you wonder what life was like without a pot of coffee in the morning and sometimes because of it you'll have what I call not a stellar Mommy day.  Basically you're a little off your game, you are understanding how people shake their children though u will never ever ever do so but u understand and u may have a moment to not be so proud of yourself.  Guess what, this is normal, it's ok.  As long as you don't hurt your child and you are giving the best that you could possibly give at that moment in time then you are a great mother!!  Recognizing bad days makes you a great mother, complaining to someone and thinking OMG what have I done, how could I have changed my life this drastically is completely normal as well especially after the first 2 weeks up to 3 months as that's when colic may kick in, your baby sleeps less and that god forsaken 6 week growth spurt has you wondering if you'll ever get your boobs back and when that 7/11 of your chest will close.  It's fine to feel this way, it's fine to question and it's fine to complain to a girlfriend of the hard things that you have to deal with every day.  Diapers, bottles, breast feeding, changing, dreaded baths, dang car seats, colic, stomach problems, colds, flues, huge diaper bags, changes of clothes for both of you, screaming in the car, embarrassing you in public, crying (this can be yourself as well) are all a part of a Mothers daily life.  You're always on what I call high alert so that even if the baby is sleeping and you're in the shower trying to feel human you are still stressing and listening hoping that they stay asleep and you can get 20 mins to yourself.  I remember with Adam he had a day where he cried for 6 hours and well I cried for the last 4 with him and kept going through the motions trying to find relief for him.  That's when I called my girlfriend with the big boobs and said I need your help, get in a cab asap and I will pay for it.  Thankfully a different friend with 2 older boys called me and heard his cry and helped me out while I waited.  She told me to put him down on his change table as it was the only place he wouldn't cry and sit for a couple minutes and that since his cry seems to be one of pain or discomfort because nothing else has worked that it's ok to give him a dose of Tylenol.  I wouldn't put up with a headache or gut ache without trying to get relief so why should I allow my new born to suffer.  Thankfully my friend showed up, took Adam on her giant soft chest and let his toes hang off, he fell asleep within a few minutes and all was well.  Asking for help as a Mom is not a weakness and does not make you less of a Mom, it takes a community to raise a child so don't feel bad if you need to ask to be rescued every now again.